In our previous posts, we spoke about a specific catastrophic event which happened in someone's life. We discovered some ways to navigate the process, from the SHOCK phase to the TRANSFORMATION phase, passing as quickly as possible through the WILDERNESS phase.
There is another set of catastrophic events which are quite likely to impact a life for a very long time. I am talking about constant, repetitive catastrophic events, where one does not have the time to get out of the SHOCK phase, until another event happens, and another one, and another one. It is shock, after shock, after shock.
This scenario is found during wars, child abuse, domestic violence, and legal abuse, which is on the rise in the American society.
Have you ever wondered why there are so many veterans begging on the streets? Did these valiant soldiers just turn into useless bums because they simply refused to recover and move on? Can they really?
Have you ever wondered why so many people have low self-worth, low self-esteem, low self-confidence, ... only to find out that most of them were abused as children. Are they just refusing to forgive, forget and move on?
Can they?
Have you ever wondered why abused women do not get out of their situation? "Why do they stay?" is the question most often asked.
Is the choice to "move out" a realistic one? Often, it is not, as the abuse escalates after a separation, and often ends up in more abuse and sometimes death. It is a very difficult choice to make, and one that needs to be thought out thoroughly. The "Get Out of Domestic Violence" posters found on the walls of government offices and hospitals don't come close to portraying the truth of what happens to a woman who makes that choice.
How about legal abuse, found when, after protracted litigations, the "bad" guy wins, and the "good" guy is left with a shattered life, financially, socially, emotionally, mentally, and often physically bankrupt.
Telling these people to "move on", "think positive thoughts", "set goals" adds insult to injury.
Debbie Drake, MD, once said during a workshop that abused women had so many "Hamer Herds" (that's comparable to a short-circuit in the brain) that they could not make decisions. Every time one experiences a trauma, a short-circuit occurs in a specific part of the brain. For more information, go to http://www.newmedicine.ca/overview.php.
During multiple, unrelenting trauma, so many boundaries are violated that many short-circuits happen at the same time, leaving one in a dissociated state. How would YOU think if your brain was full of short-circuits? How does your car or your computer function with ONE short-circuit, let alone multiple short-circuits? It takes time and energy to find the short-circuits, and repair them.
Yes, it is possible to recover, with proper strategies and techniques, ONCE THE PERSON IS OUT OF THE SITUATION!. However, one has to know about these new techniques. They are not mainstream yet. For a very effective tool, go to http://www.emofree.com/a/?3928, and do a search under "child abuse", "domestic violence", "war trauma", etc. Consulting a qualified practitioner in energy therapies (EFT, BSFF, EMDR, ...) is a worthy investment. More and more trauma recovery strategies are being investigated and validated, from horse therapy, to energy techniques, to renegociating a trauma (learning from how wild animals do it). There is HOPE!
What can one do WHEN STUCK IN A TRAUMATIC SITUATION?
SURVIVE! GET EMPOWERED! STAY EMPOWERED!
Do everything possible to mitigate the trauma, by doing everything in your power to not add stress to your body and mind, on top of what you are going through. Some of the suggestions I offer are possible, some are not. Some suggestions may empower some, but not others. Choose the best for you:
- Eat nutritious food
- Add supplements to support your adrenals
- Relax as much as possible... I know it's often impossible, as intrusive thoughts pervades our life, day and night (I always wondered why they were called intrusive... now I know)
- Surround yourself with an empowering support team
- Connect with a Higher Power
- The energy techniques mentioned above (http://www.emofree.com/a/?3928) do work, but have to be used on an on-going basis.
- Share the story
- Fight the abuse with a support group
- Write a journal or blog
- Connect with nature, an animal, a plant...
- Look at a starry sky... the stars are still there, in the same position. The sun rises in the East and settles in the West. There still IS some order in this world.
- Dissociation and numbness are organic responses to stay alive. They are OK!
Realize that although all this is NOT RIGHT, there is a spiritual law giving free choice to individuals. Unfortunately, some people choose to use that free choice to destroy others. Until our collective energy becomes strong and focused enough to fight evil collectively, these individuals are given free rein to wreck havoc in many lives.
According to Karin Huffer, author of the book Legal Abuse Syndrome - check her websites at http://www.legalabusesyndrome.org/ and http://www.judicialaccountability.org/legalabuse.htm - only about 10-20% of the population shows the need to control and destroy others. There are still 80-90% of good, trustworthy people on the planet. Find them, and fight with them!
If you have recovered from war trauma, child abuse, domestic violence or legal abuse and would like to share empowering techniques, please feel free to contact me at DrD@peakvitality21.com
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