The WILDERNESS Cycle starts when feelings of anger and fear surface. We are not in denial any longer, we cannot deny the loss any longer, and life takes on a somewhat chaotic rythm.
Some days may be full of confusion, going from some lingering denial, to anger and fear, or generalized anxiety. If someone has died, the feeling of anger (always present even when unconscious, according to Dr. Larry Nims) toward that person may be followed by guilt. If faced with a catastrophic illness, the question of "Why me?" enters the mind. Fear of what the future may bring may paralyze us.
Some days, we want to explore new possibilities. We get a glimpse that if we don't change our focus or our attitute, we are not likely to "make it". We start to sketch a new life...
One day, we come to realize that we are not the center of the universe. We broaden our perspective. Even though this terrible event happened to turn our life inside out, the stars are still in the same place, and the sun still rises in the morning. We may start to feel that we are somewhat unique, we start to see the potential blessings that this event could bring. It might make us stronger. We get more empathy for people who have suffered. We grow closer to other who have also suffered.
Although there is not much which can be done to shorten the LOSS Cycle, the WILDERNESS Cycle offers choices. We can choose to wallow in confusion and anxiety for months or even years, or choose to change our focus and attitude. Coaches, energy therapists and counselors can be very helpful at this stage. They keep us focused, help us move from the crisis to finding new opportunities. They help us broaden our perspective, and give us the tools to maneuver through the confusion.
The WILDERNESS Cycle ends with a vision, and an attitude of "Just Do IT!", which moves us to the TRANSFORMATION Cycle, which will be explored in our next blog.
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